


Red Meat

by RHJunior



Category: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Genre: Gen, Humor, One-Shot, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-07 15:16:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6810700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RHJunior/pseuds/RHJunior
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fluttershy inadvertently teaches her friends the facts of life.</p><p>No, not those. The ones about the food chain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Red Meat

 

Rarity's shriek could be heard all the way to down town Ponyville. In alarm, the human guest who had arrived in Equestria and the rest of the Mane Six ran around to the back of Fluttershy's cottage. They were all brought to a screeching halt, stunned immobile by the sight that greeted their eyes; Rarity, passed out in Fluttershy's begonias, all four hooves in the air...

And Fluttershy, covered in grue, dragging a disemboweled moose on a pallet behind her and as chipper as could be. She had an axe, saw, and machete strapped over her back, equally spattered in blood. "Oh, hello, everyone," she said. "I'm sorry I didn't have time to clean up yet--"

"Fluttershy??" Twilight exclaimed in horror. She waved a hoof at the gore-fest before her. "...What??"

Fluttershy looked back at the dead animal as if she'd just remembered it was there. "Oh. This." She looked sad for a moment. "I had to deliver last rites for Mister Moose."

"Last... Rites?" Applejack and Rainbow Dash said together.

Fluttershy nodded. "It's part of my job," she said, gently chiding. "I thought you knew?" At their speechless head-shake she went on. "Well, when an animal gets very old or sick or gets injured in a very bad way, they ask for me. I go to them and... make their passing easier." She held out a paring knife. "A little nick to the carotid artery, and soon it's all over. It's a much more merciful way to go than being torn apart by a pack of timberwolves."

"But...You?" Dash said, still unbelieving. She waved a wing, indicating-- pretty much all of Fluttershy.

Fluttershy nodded, flicking some grue out of her mane. "Ooh, it's going to take _forever_ to shampoo this out... of course, Rainbow Dash," she said. "It's a part of nature. Living things die. Hunters hunt. Meat eaters eat meat. And if they didn't, the world would be in a terrible mess indeed. What kind of a friend of the animals would I be if I didn't accept that?"

Twilight looked a little green. "But... why did you bring the body back here??"

"Oh, I normally don't... unless there's an animal I'm caring for who needs it," she said. "And our human friend here is an omnivore so I knew he'd be needing proper protein soon." Her cheerful giggle would disturb said human's dreams for months. "Oh, I could use a hoof doing the skinning and butchering, Mr. Human. That is, if you don't mind..."

"Um, thanks, I guess, Fluttershy," he said. Mixed feelings didn't begin to describe this; he had been feeling rather sickly for some time and had been dying-- if Nurse Tenderheart was to believed, quite literally--- for some decent protein. But this was... disturbing on so many levels. When magic had plucked him out of his own world and dropped him here, he'd been out on a hunting trip and had been fully kitted out, but he had refrained even from fishing for fear of potentially causing a crisis with the skittish herbivore natives. He'd obviously over-thought the matter. The thought of some fresh mooseburger was rapidly overcoming his shock at discovering Fluttershy's gruesome work. "I still have my bowie knife; it'd probably be better than that paring knife for severing the tendons..." 

"Yurgh," Twilight interjected.

"Of course I already left the entrails behind," Fluttershy said. "They don't keep very long, and my wild animal friends prefer those parts so--" Twilight turned a vivid shade of green and raced for a nearby trash barrel.

"Entrails?" Pinkie quavered.

"Yes, the lungs and stomach and all," Fluttershy said. She pointed to the carcass' belly. "It's very simple. You just slit the belly open, reach inside and--"

Pinkie proceeded to offer a heathen sacrifice to a nearby lilac bush. Okay, maybe he hadn't quite overthought it as much as he thought. But still... "Fluttershy-- thank you so much. You are literally a life saver. Umm, did you keep the heart or liver?" the human asked. "Most of the nutrients I need are richest in the liver."

"Of course," Fluttershy reassured him. "Once I cut out all the offal I stuck the heart and liver back in the body cavity to keep them safe while I--" and that did it for Applejack and Rainbow Dash; they bolted for the tree line and began calling mightily on the great god O'Rourke.

The blood-spattered pegasus looked about at her friends and tsked.  "I really don't understand why any of my friends are so shocked," Fluttershy said. "Owlowiscious is a bird of prey; he eats meat. Winona's a doggy and doggies eat meat. Even GUMMY eats meat, Pinkie," she called out to her friend, who was still busy desecrating the lilac bush. "That IS what's in those cans of soft cat food you feed him. Even Opalescence eats meat, Rarity. And not just the canned food, either. More than once I've seen her munch up some little mouse or vole or--"

Rarity, who had just staggered woozily to her feet, heard this and passed out into the begonias again.

The blood-spattered pegasus tsked at her friends. "Oh honestly," she said to them all. "What did you all think I fed all my little obligate carnivore animal friends?" She said. "Carrots?"


End file.
